Welcome to my website. Have a seat. Can I get you anything? Cookie? Peanuts? Used Q-Tip? How about a dead bird? A hat full of thumb tacks? A different used Q-Tip? Veal Piccata with potato dauphinoise? No? Okay. Just make yourself comfortable. Take a look around. Please ignore the smell. Pay no attention to the Chinese midget with the knife. I'll be right back. I have to take a shit.

Scroll down for easy to read schedule, see some highlights of my career, and some links to buy my album or to join me on facebook.

Then scroll back up to use the menu up top.

Then come back here and give me a ride to the airport.

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"Scolaro is terrific, an actual sitcom find."
- Paul Brownfield, LA Times

"The funniest fuckin' person alive"
- Marc Maron, WTF podcast

"One of the best I've ever seen"
- Brian Doyle-Murray

"I go out of my way to see him perform."
- Tom Rhodes, Tom Rhodes podcast

"He's alright"
- Brian Scolaro

"Who?"
- Brian's Mom

"Stop following me! Put your pants back on!"
- Woman on subway

CLICK HERE TO JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK

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CLICK HERE TO BUY "BRIAN SCOLARO: SNEEZES, FARTS, AND ORGASMS" ON ITUNES

or buy it here at Amazon's MP3 page.

My first REAL album is out on iTunes, emusic, and Napster.

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APRIL 6
Hollywood Improv
930pm

APRIL 9
HOLYYWOOD LAUGH FACTORY 8pm
HOLLYWOOD IMPROV 10PM

APRIL 10
GAS LAMP GRILL
San Diego, CA

APRIL 11
HOLLYWOOD LAUGH FACTORY
Midnight

APRIL 12
DON THE BEACHCOMBER
Huntington Beach, CA
8pm

APRIL 17
PRESS BOX 2
CLovis, CA

APRIL 18-20
ACES COMEDY CLUB
TEMECULA, C.A.

MAY 1-3
COMEDY SPOT
SCOTTSDALE, AZ

MAY 5 - 11
TROPICANA HOTEL\CASINO
LAS VEGAS NV

MAY 16
JON LOVITZ COMEDY CLUB
UNIVERSAL CITY WALK, C.A.

MAY 29
FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB
BURBANK C.A.
8pm

JUNE 5-7
TACOMA COMEDY CLUB
TACOMA, W.A.

JUNE 10- 15
L.A. COMEDY CLUB
BALLY"S CASINO HOTEL
LAS VEGAS, NV

JUNE 26-28
SAN FRANCISCO PUNCHLINE

JULY 9 - 13
COMIC STRIP
ELPASO, TX

July 16
Shady Hills Casino

JULY 18
WHISLER CANADA COMEDY FESTIVAL

OCT 16- 18
COMEDY NEST
Montreal, Canada

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