Every rapper has a different name than the one they were born with.

It's like they all are going through some sort of identity crisis.

I met a rapper once.

He introduced himself as Ice Dog.

Imagine that. A grown man insisting I address him as Ice Dog.

"That's your name? Let me see your driver's license."

I'm not calling him that. It makes me feel inferior. So, I insisted he call me by my rap name- "I Like Boys."

"so when you see me, just say 'Hey, I like boys."

That conversation didn't last long.

Here is a list of names I like to use when meeting rappers.

Ice Don't Give a Shit.
M. C. Square equals E.
Ice Mocha
Big Penis
Cat Sand
E. L. Fudge
Kool Moe D's nephew
Rae Kwon the Chef Salad
Sir Issac Newton
Scrooge McDuck
Eminem with Almonds
Scott Baio

Amen.